Seven -year -old children told me that he didn't want to have children when he grew up.I asked why, he said, "Because taking care of the child is very troublesome, tired, and spend a lot of money." A seven -year -old Singapore child does not know what is going on in love, so there is such a cognition.No wonder Singapore's fertility rate is not improved.
"Children are very troublesome, tired, and spend a lot of money", which is the consensus of almost all Singapore parents.On June 9th, Ms. Hong Yiting On the Union Morning News Edition, why did we have children?In the article, the words such as "walking dead" and "torment that need to be affected in daily life" describes the suffering of full -time mothers today, but it seems extreme, but everyone who comes here is not exaggerated at all.
However, parents are never easy."Raising a hundred years old, ninety -nine -nine", this is the case in ancient times.However, why the government and the first generation of the founding of the country needed the government at that time that they told them that "two are enough", but our generation was asking "why do you have children"?The founding generation of the founding of the country will definitely not be easier than us.
In the past, raw children were a moral responsibility."There are three filial piety, there is no behind," Mencius has raised the birth of the children to the ethics of Confucianism to an absolute height.If a person refuses to give birth is to be filial, he must be condemned and abandoned by the society.In Catholic and Christian traditions, fertility is the will of God to mankind.Chapter 1 of Genesis: 28: "God (to Adang and Eve) said: There are many raws, full of this place ..."
This shows that family and children have been in the center of social ethics.Farmers are farming and workers' labor.The phrase "outside the male lead, the female lead" has been become a mouse crossing. It was once naturally very reasonable -a husband and wife are responsible for dealing with the family and children, and one is responsible for bringing the resources required by the family from the outside.In a society centered on the family, the family is the ultimate task, who has thought about this problem?
However, after a wave of modernization, the society has changed dramatically, which fundamentally affects people's willingness to fertility.
In the past, the purpose of the work was mainly to obtain the needs of the family.For ordinary people, no matter how busy with work, the focus of life is still family.However, today's society, work has been given other meaning and is closely related to the development of the national economic development; people work not only to make money for themselves, but also help companies, customers, and countries to make money.Social gravity has changed from "family" to the workplace, and the family must also accommodate the needs of the work.If the work is put in the secondary position, the competitiveness of ourselves, the company, and even the national economy will be affected, and we will retreat.This values are deeply rooted in the genes of Singaporeans.
Modern people focus more on self -worth, and work is inseparable from people's self -worth.Regardless of men and women, when considering whether to have children, in addition to practical considerations such as "very troublesome, tired, and spending a lot of money", consider more: Will it affect work and promotion and affect my quality of life?Do I really like children?Is it worth my sacrifice for me?
Absolutely affect work
To be honest: give birth to children will definitely affect work, the probability of affecting promotion is not low, and the quality of life will also decrease significantly in the short period of time, especially for women.Even if the employer allows flexible work arrangements to make it easier for parents to apply for childcare leave, these problems still exist.Some studies in foreign countries have shown that in order to take care of their children, some mothers have to extend their training period and receive jobs and salary lower than their peers in a longer period; some parents are unwilling to apply for maternity leave and parenting leave because theyNot going to work will affect colleagues, so that you will feel guilty.Parents are also going to take care of their children and cannot participate in their colleagues' social activities. They have a distance from others and cannot be integrated into the social circle.
I have heard a lot of myself.A senior told me that he would not reduce the work requirements of the parents in the organization because he thought it would affect their opportunities and was not fair to them.I have also heard someone say that those who do not have children do more, and make up for the job that parents who should have asked for childcare leave, and they should be very unfair to those who do not have children.Some people also mentioned that when he asked for emergency childcare leave, he affected the annual leave of his colleagues and caused the other party to be dissatisfied. Presumably a lot of things must be heard.
Look at those classmates and colleagues who do not have children in social media, travel everywhere with the aircraft business class, taste food, add a cute puppy photo, with a love between humans and petsEthical articles -Many people should spread their hands with both hands. Forget it, what do you do, "Why do I have children?" To raise a dog, you can also give me love to me!Anyway, "raising children to prevent the elderly" has long failed, and he can plan properly for the future, but the government will not ignore me. You don't have to worry about no one to help me pest.
In the past, everyone regarded the responsibility of Chuanzong, and they would pay for their children's children.Now, society is centered on work and economy, and people attach importance to self -worth and personal choices.Without the constraints and inspirations of traditional moral ethics, one choice means relative, a large number of personal sacrifice, and the other will not have a large price. Of course, people's rationality will avoid the choice of more sacrifice;It is really irrational and trouble to determine the birth of a child.This situation will not change for a day, and any policy or measures will not change the trend of decline in fertility rates; infant blun and various parenting subsidy plans for the years are not helpful for improving fertility rate, which is evidence.
Imagine a new comprehensive national goal
Therefore, I agree with Ms. Hong's initiative in the article: For our common future, Singapore must now start to find a new set of consensus for economic development / work, family / parenting and pension.
Perhaps, we can imagine a brand new social contract, integrate economic development and family development into a comprehensive national goal; in this framework, everyone’s personal choice will not have too much opportunity costs.difference.For example, if a person chooses to give birth to a child and give up a better career development opportunity, he / she may get corresponding compensation from the country; on the contrary, if a person chooses to give up fertility to play the potential of his workplace, the country may need him to need him/ She directly or indirectly afford more responsibility and cost of parenting and pension.
Of course, the premise is that society must have consensus, that is, economic development, fertility and pension, and responsibilities are common.At the personal level, the role may be very diverse, but everyone has no difference in responsibility for society and the country; and the contribution of the whole society to everyone will give at least almost the same recognition.We need to evolve from the "Singapore Enterprise" to the "Singapore Aircraft Carrier" -the members of different generations and different roles perform their duties and support each other, so that the country can continue to ride the wind and break forward.
I believe this is a very large social engineering.However, if you really want to change people's attitude towards family and children, I don't think there is no other choice.It's time to open a meaningful conversation.
The author is a medical -related job practitioner
