Mother faced the first important choice of life at the age of 22.Although she did not have the opportunity to be educated, she made a decision for the next chapter of her life based on her opinion and longing.
She decisively rejected the second brother -in -law's request to marry her as the second aunt, and give up the material enjoyment of the second aunt who is a small businessman, and resolutely strives for the life he is dominated.The mother married her father a few years later, and then became the mother of four children.His father asked for life for a long time, and his mother devoted himself to taking care of the family and children, as if using such selfless dedication to compensate her motherly love since childhood.
Mother is big by her grandmother.She was blurred by her father, and only heard that her dad died of illness shortly after her birth.However, she clearly remembered that her mother was also taken away during the occupation period of Japan.At that time, his mother was eight years old.In this way, the burden of raising five young granddaughter fell on her grandmother.The grandmother in the mother's eyes is always loud and unsmiling.I think my mother has inherited the dictatorship of her grandmother's discipline.
When the mother's second sister married a small businessman selling coconut brooms through the media, her mother and two other sisters became workers who made coconut brooms.They work every day in exchange for a place to live, three meals a day, and a rest day on the first day of the year.
The day when the second brother -in -law rejected the second brother -in -law, the mother suddenly lost her residence and work.As if the kite that was broken, the mother wandered between the elder sister and wife of the boarding economy.Soon after, she coincided with the young man who was a bitterness at the pier.This hard -working poor egg is my father.After that, they established their feelings in the drama and several Lin Dai movies.
One day in 1961, the pragmatic couple felt that it was time to live together.That way, you can save a housing rent.At that time, most Chinese people only held traditional wedding ceremonies, and registering for marriage was not common.But his father heard that the women's charter had just passed and formally legislated, so he took his mother to register to get married.The women's charter establishes a monogamy marriage, and is particularly meaningful for the mother of the second aunt a few years ago.
The couple of the sufferings ushered in their first child in the social turmoil caused by racial riots in the 1960s.Father passed the Dushi driver's license a few years later, and their constraints gradually began to improve.
With two daughters and a son, the mother decided to spend another son and make up the two "good" words.Just in the environment of "two is enough", she won the second son.With the two men and two women, the mother has devoted himself to raising the children in the next few decades.
There is an opinion on children's education
Although the father of a family is only the education level of Primary Six, how can he be considered more education than the mother who has not studied.Even so, the mother will give opinions at an important point.Or maybe she has no chance to be educated, so she has her own views on the education of children, and occasionally insists on her opinion.She does not want her child to face the poverty and inferiority she encountered.
In the early 1970s, with the industrialization of Singapore, English began to become the main working language of society.My mother also heard from the neighborhood neighbors that it is easier to find a job by English education.At that time, the boss had a class in the primary school of Chinese source.When it was my turn to apply for elementary school for the second child, she tried her best to convince her father to let the second newspaper read English source.His father compromised under the pressure of his mother and reality. After that, the third and fourth -year -olds became English school students.
When the boss graduated with a special excellent grade, an old relative persuaded his father not to waste time and money, and let the girl's family continue college courses.Fortunately, the mother intervened in time, and asked the teachers and several highly educated neighbors. In the end, the boss was compensated as expected. Not only did she continue to enter the school, she also received scholarships and completed university education.
The mother cares about the fairness of the matter, especially the children's matters.Once she heard that her child was pulled by a teacher because of a small thing, and the slap was applauded, and immediately rushed to the school and the teacher theory.Even though she could only ask the teacher with Fujian dialect that she said at a time, and the teacher insisted on responding in English.Another time, she heard that the children who were in the rebellious period were mixed with a group of rogue in a group of smoking cars.She did not wait for the father of the evening Bands to come back, and in the early morning, she looked for the trace of these people in the group area.After all, the child was found by her, and by the way, the little hooligan headed a dog blood.She later admitted that she was actually scared in the face of the hooligan.
Mother has spent dozens of years in the busyness of tossing housework and children.She is uccantinary to take care of her family and children, but ignores her health.The ignorance of the symptoms of uterine tumors attributed the menopausal menopause that was generally not discussed at that time.Finally, she endured the point where she couldn't get out of bed. She still insisted that she would not be in the hospital because she was worried that she had no one who took care of the child's three meals.My mother was hospitalized for the first time for the first time for so many years.
After more than 20 years, she tortured her back pain for decades and forced her to stop.Because she didn't want to bother the child to take her to see the clinic from her work, she felt silent, but she could bear it silently until she had deteriorated that she couldn't walk.In the end, the children convinced her at the age of 75 and resolutely undergo disc herniation surgery.After this toss, the mother finally accepted the reality, began to let go, pay attention to taking care of her health, and at the same time, she was glad to accept our favor.In the past, the mother who had always refused to eat with her children to dine in the restaurant, and now I am quite looking forward to the dinner of the three generations of the same church every Sunday.
Today's mother has passed the year of the stick, and it seems to be at the status quo, but as the children have their own business, the four sisters and a group of old friends all leave her first. Although she has her father, she also from time to time.Will sigh lonely.I just looked up at the family portrait on the wall occasionally. She was fortunate to make the right decision for dignity and freedom of life.
Like many other people in the same generation, the mother has worked hard in life and paid for the family and children selflessly.They silently bear the burdens of physical and mental body and mind.Their persistence even ignored their needs, and tried not to seek help from outside.
Looking back on my own mother's experience, it is really easier to have a stumbling block without poverty and illiterate.But on the other hand, the impact of today's society facing the Internet and smartphones has brought many unprecedented challenges to this generation of our parents.Fortunately, we now have more resources, more community support, and more consciousness in the difficulties of working mothers to take into account their families.
Moms' lives are always centered on children, and they always pay selflessly.At the same time, we must also learn to take care of ourselves seriously while taking care of family children.When necessary, know how to rest or seek help, and don't forget to give yourself a space, in order to enjoy the size of them during the way to be parents.
The author is the mother of a franchise accountant and the mother of two daughters
Originally contained in the Strait Times, the translation is provided by the author
