Wu Ming

The cause of divorce is the first time.The personality, work pressure, educational popularity, the improvement of female education opportunities and degree, equality between men and women, family life pressure and friction after marriage, etc., may not make the two people unable to go, so that the author's article said: "Before marriage, the arms before marriage said:Traveling around the country ... Why did you choose to break up within three or five years of marriage? "

I read the art analysis and philosopher Erich Fromm in 1956 in 1956.Is it an art? "If so, you need to have knowledge and effort.After asking and answering the above questions, Ferum stated that if we treat love as an art, we must look at love like learning art: to master the theory of that art, and then fully practice it to practice itEssence

Ferum pointed out that at that time (1950 to the 1960s), most Americans's concept of love was wrong. How they turned love into love and how to become cute; not "love, use your ability to use your abilityLove ".He proposed three discussions:

1. People regard "love" as "Being loved" rather than "love", and personal "capable" to love.The author pointed out that in the society at the time, men were focusing on improving their power and financial resources; women were committed to dressing up to change their appearance.Regardless of men and women, they strive to "win friends and influence people" with a comfortable behavior, humble attitude, and helpful behavior.

Second, love is the problem of the object rather than abilities, so love is considered a simple matter. It is difficult to find the right object or be loved.

3. At that time, the cultural tendency of the United States at that time was utilitarian, and men and women were proud to have the other half of their attractiveness as a "reward" for chasing love success.

After clarifying these concepts, the author clarifies the theory of love in a large space in Chapter 2.He believes that "love is the answer to human survival."The object of love includes the love, mother love, love, self -love, and love for God.

In Chapter III, Ferum analyzed the reason for the disintegration of love in the Western society at that time. A basic hypothesis was that at the time, "the social structure of Western civilization and the spirit that produced it was not conducive to the development of love."

Finally, when he talks about the practice of love, he must be like practical art theory.He put forward the four major points, which requires discipline, concentration, patience, and the most important thing is to practice the supreme care of the art.

The preface of love openly says: "What the reader is convincing is that all his attempts about love will be destined to fail, unless he can actively develop his full personality (Total Personality);Ability, without real humility, courage, belief and discipline, will not be able to obtain the satisfaction of individuals in terms of love. "This book is different from the books that generally talk about love or love. It puts forward the problem of "ability" and the concept of "comprehensive personality".

Ferum's background in writing this book was the current status and high divorce rate of American society in the 1950s. He analyzed society while lamenting.Time has changed. Today, 70 or eighty years later, our society and the background of Frem's book discussions, as well as people's values, love views, and marriage concepts, both are similar and different.

In contrast, at that time, the wrong cognition of love in American society at that time had a role in our vigilance, and even provided us with negative textbooks that reflected and learned.Personally, the ideas that the author wants to convey is valuable.

Singapore is a country with a high -speed development. Although it is a country, it is also a metropolis for the intersection of material achievements and spiritual civilization.Fierce business competition, fast life, more and more stress, and people's psychological chasing rapid success, but therefore also bring universal anxiety, impetuousness and anxiety.Starting from learning attitudes like Ferum, cultivating the development of "comprehensive personality", and striving to practice the discipline, concentration, patience and supreme care required for art, as well as a practical and persistent attitude and quality of life, it is worthy of our reference.This should be helpful to see love and marriage and reduce the divorce rate.

The author is a part -time lecturer in a local private college