Current affairs perspective
After the rain, I went out to ride a bicycle, and the car driving on the face was endless.The speed is very slow, but the distance is very close, and I still fell because of panic.It didn't hurt and didn't hurt, but his heart slammed.After all, it is an older person, and it is still very nervous to fall. Fortunately, it is usually crawling quickly.
When I mentioned this with her friends afterwards, her words completely hit me down:
Have you haven't rode a bicycle for a long time?
You shouldn't go out to ride a bicycle in hellip; hellip;
Tell you not to go out. Hellip; hellip;
I'm speechless.Suddenly, all the words I wanted to say were swallowed into the belly and completely swallowed.
It is estimated that you are not unfamiliar with such comfort. Many times we unconsciously fall into such words and do not know, especially when talking to our family, usually enter the pit without thinking.
Children may no longer care about you. My lover may complain about telling you, or take the Pharaoh next door to stimulate you to see the old king next door.The more he said, the last two, the two of them pulled their throats for a while, and went to the abyss of domestic violence unknowingly.
Why is there such a way to speak?
First of all, he ignored my feelings. My strong needs for listening and understanding. Before I did not soothe my injuries, I made a right and wrong judgment on what I did.
Secondly, in these seemingly concerned words, what I feel is questioning and blame.The attitude and tone of height made me feel uncomfortable.The most important thing is because he doesn't understand me at all. He only starts from his thinking. Without the empathy, he can't listen to my complaint.Once I can't be understood and stabbed again, the emotional rebound is inevitable; unless my emotional quotient is high and can brake in time, the pit will be dug and deeper.
During the epidemic, it is estimated that many people will have a mood similar to riding.When people have been forced to be trapped in a closed space for a long time, they have caused great psychological pressure due to huge uncertainty, such as anxiety, fear and anxiety.
Especially when family income has become a problem, children play their mobile phones for more than eight hours, and couples have more than 48 hours in the same room in the same room, and people's emotions are easier to flip.When one party has a low emotion and needs to seek the soothing of the other party, it is often counterproductive. Perhaps the other party may also bear huge psychological pressure. Like drowning people, they cannot save themselves, and they cannot save others.
But what are the real emotions hidden behind these disputes and domestic violence?There is an iceberg chart in psychology to make the following explanations:
The ice cubes floating on the water are just the corner of the iceberg. If it is used to describe the angry emotions, the ice cubes under the water gathered hundreds of other emotions, such as anxiety, anxiety, attacked, disagreeable, injured, injured, Disappointment, not respected, ashamed, loneliness, and so on.
When some people cannot express these invisible emotions correctly, they will use universal emotions to vent their depression for a long time, leading to a series of disputes, cold war and domestic violence.Everyone knows how serious the epidemic causes the damage caused by our body, but how many people know how serious the domestic violence produced by the non -voluntary closed life?
It can be found on the Internet to find that during the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) reported that during the UK, the domestic violence asked the hotline to rise by nearly 50%.In the first three weeks of Fengcheng, 16 people died of domestic violence, which was the highest record in 11 years; men's help calls also surged by 17%.
According to the New York Times, in Spain, the emergency help hotline of domestic violence received a call received by the two weeks before the blockade, which was 18%more than the same period a month ago.In the United States, data from the National Anti -Family Violence Alliance show that about 20 people are abused every minute.In China, since the city was closed in early February, the hotline of helping the non -governmental organization received the help of the help hotline received by the government has begun to surge.Singapore, Malaysia and other Southeast Asian countries are also without exception.
However, as the response to the virus itself, many domestic violence failed to stop it in time.This also means that irreparable damage may have happened.Judith Lewis Herman, Harvard Medical College, found that the abusers in the family were used to control the comparison means of partners and children, which is amazingly similar to the abduction of hostages.
If the family's emotional abnormalities can be found early, or when the trend of the two sides cannot be intensified, it should be immediately taken to take barrier measures, such as reporting the police and trying to stay away from each other, especially women. At this timeAfter a personal crisis (including unemployment or major financial losses), the abusers are more likely to lose control and even murder their partners and others.
The epidemic can cause serious disputes in the inconspicuous riding things, and even develop into domestic violence.How to let the abusers control the anger's emotions, express the invisible emotions correctly, and how to make the victim better control themselves, and not irritate each other, thereby reducing the increasingly increasing domestic violence, it will be another challenge facing the psychological counselor.
The author has a psychological counselor's diploma
Founder of Wenqing College of Singapore
