In a election cycle that is likely to produce the first female president in the United States, many comments are placed on men. Perhaps this is a ironic that is not surprising.Or more accurately, the comments are not exactly about men, but on "masculinity".Because for some reason, in 2024, we found that when we were talking about men and boys, we still couldn't use man's spirit as a basic reference framework.
Speaking of which, voters should make choices between toxic and positive masculinity models.In order to respond to the male -like version of the right -handed green muscles, the fire, and the poor and bad, the leftist provided us with a more moral and more inclusive "positive masculinity".
"Positive masculinity" has been existed for a while.The word is likely to be created by psychologists in the early 21st century. As a way to cooperate with male patients, it has now become a broader framework for boys and men.It also inspired a series of projects and initiatives designed to attract boys to accept more feminine virtues, such as emotional fragility and education.Male supporters believe that the masculinity has always carried a bad fame with unfair back, and will always be linked to the word "toxic".The positive masculinity is a kind of attempt to reshape and recover for the next generation, and it is usually different from the inner heart revealed by those tough guys who show the magnificent tough guy. This is the "real" man.
This model is not completely deviated with traditional masculinity.The positive masculinity still uses all the old characteristics and anxiety of the traditional masculinity, and still has the belief of "real men" and concerns about the lack of spirit.As a political representative of this temperament, Democratic Vice President Candidate Tim Waltz still needs to continue to prove his male qualification.Only by showing the image of men and veterans, and using a large amount of sports metaphors and guns in the speech, can he be able to win social tolerance for his more feminist emotions.After all, only "real men" have enough sense of security to strive to place sanitary napkins in the toilet of the school.
After Donald Trump's cartoon -style super villain image and JD Wanz's greasy w for the w for the Waltz and its similar "positive masculinity" are a pleasant liberation, and theseProjects often do well.However, if we really change the cultural paradigm of the next generation of boys and let them embrace their complete human nature, we better completely abandon the man's rhetoric.This is because the positive masculinity framework actually does not seem to challenge the old stereotypes and models, but strengthens them.
"Healthy or positive masculinity means that men can express their emotions. Some female friends or female mentors can express their emotions without feeling that they have been castrated," writing on a website of such projects in North Carolina stated on the website of such projects.EssenceFormer professional rugby player Tang Michamon called him a boy and young man who focused on preventing violence and emotional fragile tissues as "ambitious men's prodigals".When the three psychologists of men and masculinity psychological research, the American Psychological Society initiated a similar initiative for adolescent boys, they claimed that the goal was to retain the positive side of traditional masculinity, "abandon the bad side at the same time." "While maintaining the strength of men, we hope to get rid of our power to get rid of the power," one of them said, he believes that any concept about men should eventually be attributed to power, otherwise it is difficult to recognize.
It is difficult to imagine a project designed to break the stereotypes of girls, named it with "ambitious feminine temperament", and told girls that they can become scientists, CEOs, rugby players or US presidents, "Still maintaining feminine temperament and attractiveness. "" Or any mainstream news media claimed that two female politicians provided voters with "model of two femininity."Thanks to the efforts of the feminist movement, any self -esteem and self -love will instinctively mark this expression as a ridiculous simplification or direct oppression.But we still believe that man's spirit is an innate, unchanged thing, not a restricted social construction.
A gender discrimination is hidden in the arrogance of the entire positive man.If we have to label a "masculinity" to a certain behavior, it is valuable to men, then we are cleverly conveying such information: accepting anything related to women is a relegation, or even a kind of one, or even a kind ofinsult."Positive masculinity" is not to gendize the general quality of human beings, nor is it encouraging boys to believe that they can learn something from women or women's cultural norms.It is more like an attempt. Before letting the boy approach, you must wipe out the shame and stain of women's identity from any characteristic or behavior.
Although this is undoubtedly derogatory to girls and women, the main psychological damage caused by this sample version is actually for men and boys themselves.These attempts to expand the definition of masculinity have finally strengthened such a view that the masculinity itself is sacred and inviolable. It is the root of male value. Boys can never give up it completely.
However, it is the pressure of masculinity -that is, constantly adhere to the existence of "real men" and the fear of failing to meet this standard -the root of many boys' problems, which makes them more safeFeelings, anxiety, emotional depression and social isolation.
When writing the book Boymom (Boymom), I interviewed the boy from different backgrounds and the environment. This fear performed very obvious.For them, men's spirit is not so much the source of pride, it is better to make people anxious.The boys told me clearly or vaguely that the standards of masculinity that could not be achieved made them feel heavy, forcing them to enter a stiff posture of pretending to be, and created a continuous fear.
The pressure of strong and masculinity comes from all directions -from social media to movies, from parents (especially father) to teachers and peers."Deep deep in my heart, I believe that I want to prove myself at any time," a 20 -year -old man described."There is a feeling that it will never be enough." (A few years ago, the young man fractured the spine at the time of weightlifting. At that time, he tried to get the muscle -developed physique shown by the male temperament of the male temperament from social media.)
"You need to keep proof and refute it," a 19 -year -old student in California said when talking about the role of masculinity in life."Including the way you look at yourself, the way you associate with others, you motivate yourself."
"" I'm afraid of becoming a feminine man, "a 12 -year student in New York told me."Just as the social potentially always impose the values of these masculine -almost trapped you." These boys usually show like men in the traditional sense, but they always feel a little nervous.The label of the timid ghost or sissy is always only one step away.Those who do not meet the ideal of men are worse, and they usually internalize a deep sense of shame.As a 16 -year -old homosexual said, "I just have a sense of guilt because I don't want to be such a person," he said."I just feel wrong."
They all instinctively understand what our politicians are also being displayed crazy -their masculinity is constantly examined, and the masculine qi is essentially unstable, and it is possible to be revoked at any time.status.Men and boys work overtime to avoid the threat of castration, because the social cost they paid for this is so high.
Failure to meet the shame of these strict gender expectations will have wider consequences.There is evidence that men think that they do not meet society's expectations for masculinity.Psychologists call this phenomenon as "the pressure of male differences". Studies have shown that the more severe the degree of stress on men, the more likely they will implement almost all types of violence, including sexual violence and intimate partner violence violence.And weapon attacks, and indulge in a series of dangerous acts.
Of course, this is not to say that there are not many positive qualities among the masculinity.In appropriate circumstances, strength, bravery, heroism, strong body, and even emotional perseverance can be a good quality, or even the quality of life (of course, these quality are not exclusive to men).However, boys must use the masculinity as a constant reference point for their own value, which is limited, which is harmful to them and even others.What the boys I interviewed were not a new masculine model, but that the important adults in life gave them the freedom to completely get rid of this model.
All people are not divided into gender, they have the ability, they also need strong and fragile, gentle and sensuality, wild courage and gentle education.If we really want to help the boy break free of restraint and find a wider and healthier way to live in this world, what they need is not "positive masculinity", but complete human nature.
